I have had cancer twice, including one that was supposed to be terminal (I was given three years to live in 2001). And if there is one thing I have learned it is that life is short. Too short to waste on a mediocre existence that doesn’t fulfil us or make any real difference in the world. We have a responsibility to ourselves, to others, and to our creator, to use this one short life to find what we were born to do, and live for it with all our heart and soul.
But what if you really have no idea what that is?? Where do you start, to figure it all out?
Well don’t give up hope, because I have spent many years of trial and error figuring out that my calling in life is to help you figure out yours! It took two episodes of cancer to give me the big kick-in-the-butt that I needed to find my purpose and fulfil it, and I really want to help you find the quickest shortcut to your own purpose in life.
So what is the big secret to finding your purpose? The secret that I discovered to figure out what type of life I was born to live, and the one that still guides my every decision, is the concept of CORE VALUES. And that is the basis for my system for helping you figure out what to do with your life.
Values are those qualities that we all believe to be good: values such as kindness, love, honesty, independence, truth, justice. Values are the fundamental building blocks of human character, and of a society that works. But the real clincher is that each of us gives different weight to different values. Some values are more important, meaningful and personal to you than others. Like fingerprints, the combination and weighting of your core values makes you absolutely unique. And it is these core values that define what is most important to you in life.
If you are living a life that targets the wrong values, you will experience stress, dissatisfaction and a lack of fulfilment. Let me give you an example.
I want you to imagine two very different characters. We’ll call them Daisy and GI Jane. Daisy is a free spirit, who loves camping by the beach with friends, music festivals, and running barefoot through the grass. GI Jane is a tough, uniformed, shaved-head military officer who thrives on the discipline, physicality and single-minded mission-focus of the military. Now imagine that Daisy and GI Jane swap lives. Daisy is forced to wear a khaki uniform and adhere to strict rules and routines. GI Jane is forced to wear flowy florals and lace, and laze away her days with a group of boho hippies who drift aimlessly from one experience to another.
We inherently understand that both of these women would be miserable if they had to swap lives. So what can we learn from this? It’s that Daisy and GI Jane have very different sets of core values. Daisy really values freedom, independence, friendship and the full experience of emotions. GI Jane really values rules, discipline, teamwork and a clear mission. Forcing one to live for the values of another is a recipe for misery.
This is essentially what I was doing with my life until cancer forced me to re-evaluate. I was long days in a senior executive office job in London, when in fact my values include adventure, learning, freedom and independence. Although I was good at my job, the values it embodied were not those that were most important to me.
I have come to realise that the same is true of the majority of the population. You may be very good at what you’re doing now. But if you’re not satisfied, it is a sure sign that your current job or lifestyle choice is not what you were made for.
Discovering my core values, and the kind of work and lifestyle that would target those values, was liberating for me, like a great weight lifted off my shoulders. For the first time in a long time I was excited to get up in the morning. I looked forward to a great future. And it can do the same for you.
In my book, “How to have a mid-life crisis”, I take you step-by-step through the process that I used to discover my core values and plan the necessary changes of lifestyle, big or small, that would get me back on the path to living a life of fulfilment, satisfaction, purpose and meaning.
“How to have a mid-life crisis” gives you a series of fun and easy exercises and resources to narrow down what is most important to you, and then plan a life that allows you to express your own, unique character to the full, in a way that restores your passion and excitement for the future, and makes a real impact on the world.
Don’t waste another day pursuing the wrong life path! Come with me on this amazing journey called life, and find your passion and purpose! Check out my book on Amazon now!